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By Rabbi Naftoly Bier
In this week’s פרשה, we are introduced to actions which demonstrate the lofty heights one can attain regarding their protection of the innate nobility of all human beings.
The wife of Potiphar had persisted in asking יוסף הצדיק, Joseph to lie with her. Despite his adamant refusal, one day she “grabbed his garment, desiring to seduce him.” (Ch. 39:12) “Yosef left his garment in her hand and fled.”
The Ramban, Nachmanides, explains that in deference to his mistress (his master’s wife) he did not want to overpower her and grab back the garment thereby diminishing her dignity. At first it seems inconceivable; why show reverence to a person who has treated you with a total lack of respect? Yes, she provides you with your needs; food, shelter, etc. but Yosef understood that his action can bring about a negative impact, as it did.
Another incident is the story of Yehuda and Tamar. Unknowing to Yehuda; he has impregnated his former daughter-in-law. When told of her pregnancy, he ruled that she should be “burned to death”, due to his lofty royal status. (Ramban) Tamar, rather than confronting Yehuda, left it up to him to understand that he was the one who was responsible for her pregnancy. If he didn’t admit it, she and her twins that were in her womb would have suffered an ignoble, disgraceful death. The גמרה סוטה י●says from here we deduce, “it is better that one should let oneself be thrown into a fiery furnace rather than expose another to public shame.”
Again, it seems incredulous! Firstly, why should Tamar worry about another’s embarrassment if that person, Yehuda, is going to embarrass her?! Secondly, we are taught the דין של רודף, if one is determined to kill another; everyone has the right to kill the murderer to be. Thirdly, there is a discussion, if this idea is obligatory or not. If it isn’t, then surely it’s impossible for Tamar to let her and her twins to be executed.
The answer could be inferred from the usage of words, “it is better to forfeit one’s life…” it’s not an obligation but rather an action that surpasses any other reaction.
The underlying, fundamental principle that determines all successful development of one’s being is the formation of pristine character. It therefore is incumbent on one to protect one’s inner being, one’s dignity and nobility at all times with unmitigated, sincere integrity.
For example, in this week’s פרשה we learn of the contentious relationship that Yosef had with his brothers.
They felt that their individuality was compromised by Yosef due to his mesmerizing, all-encompassing personality. But maybe their feelings were predicated on jealousy? מדות, one’s character is subject to all kinds of emotional influence and consequently one loses clarity and an objective outlook.
Every action one does has an impact on a person. Even if one is involved with a mitzvah, it could have a detrimental impact. For example, the Torah implores us that if a town, city has veered away from Hashem and is serving idols (עיר הנדחת), the town must be destroyed and its inhabitants put to death. The Torah says, (Deuteronomy 13:18) “… and Hashem will give you mercy and be merciful to you…” Destroying the city can create a callous attitude towards suffering and erode the natural feelings of mercy the people had until now. For every action impacts on one’s inner sense of nobility and the consequence can be horribly negative, despite the mitzvah. Therefore, Hashem promises, that He will infuse them with a new feeling of sensitivity and compassion, even more than ever! (אור החיים)
The same idea is taught inפ’ כי תצא , Deuteronomy 21:10-11. The soldiers that went to war on behalf of Klal Yisroel were the most pious and righteous. Nevertheless, the Torah allows the Tzaddik to cohabitate with a beautiful non-Jewish woman one time. (See Tosafos קידושין כ”ב; Ramban ibid) Why? In the time of battle, when one is occupied with self-survival and the need to kill the enemy, one invariably loses their inherent dignity; therefore, the Torah with its understanding of human nature allows this exception.
Yosef, despite the fact that his mistress had despicably mistreated and harassed him, did not want to surrender or relinquish his developed sense of inner majestic nobility, for then his future would be impaired and diminished. For every action, impacts on one’s inner character, the basis of all success in life’s endeavors.
So too, Tamar, due to attaining a superior, lofty character, felt that if she allows Yehuda to be embarrassed, the negative impact on her future would be devastating; thereby creating a metamorphosis where she would lose her true magnificent, noble identity for the remainder of her life.
Though this seems very difficult for us to comprehend, the overriding lesson we are taught is the constant need to be vigilant in protecting our nobility for it is the irrefutable foundation for all of true spiritual success.
The consequence of not protecting the fundamental gravity of one’s dignity is that we are taught (מסכת שבת ק:ד), that a תלמיד חכם whose clothing is soiled will suffer severe consequences. The משך חכמה (ויקרא ט”ו:י”ב) explains that a תלמיד חכם who denigrates his dignity causes a diminishment of the value of Torah scholars in the eyes of the populace. This in turn is a חילול ה’, which carries great consequences. Rav Avrohom Yitzchok Bloch זצ”ל הי”ד, taught every action must be deliberated for otherwise one will invariably cause others to distance themselves from a Torah oriented life. The Steipler quotes the Chazon Ish, that this principle applies to any person who studies Torah. Yes, self-nobility is paramount in עבודת ה’!
