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By Rabbi Naftoly Bier, Rosh Kollel
In דברים, י”ד:א, Deuteronomy 14:1, it states, “You are children of Hashem, your G-d, you shall not cut yourselves, nor make a bald patch between your eyes for the dead.” The Torah prohibits one to make a permanent scar on oneself due to one’s feeling of loneliness and even abandonment when a close, dear relative dies. “For you are a holy people to Hashem, He has chosen you to be exclusively unto Him…”
There are many important themes being articulated here:
Even when one suffers the loss of a beloved one, the ultimate, incomparable “parent” we have is Hashem, whose love and caring for us is infinite.
The departed soul is now in the presence of Hashem, being rewarded with the ultimate sense of joy and meaning; being embraced by Hashem.
A permanent sign of baldness or a cut is an external disfigurement which denies a person’s true self validation, self-esteem, and self-pride.
Chazal teach us that לא תתגודדו also means that we are not allowed to create factions in a community, i.e. in a place of worship everyone should pray with the same custom.
The connection between the two prohibitions is the essence of a successful life journey; the constant instinctive understanding that every person is 1) important to Hashem, 2) that one is part of a community and therefore can reflect on their individuality. If one separates from the community one relinquishes their self-validation which is a consequence of being part of Hashem’s unified nation.
Moreso, if Hashem is our loving Father, then one understands logically that all that He does is for our benefit. Rav Chaim Shmulevitz, מאמר כ”ח, teaches the fundamental significance of “נכבדות”, respect for oneself. The main dynamic that prevents a person from acting in a manner that is negative to one’s spirituality is the conscious, unadulterated awareness of one’s inherent nobility and dignity. The יצר הרע always tries to lessen a person’s acuity of his G-d given loftiness by persuading one to lessen their dedication by involving oneself with small, trivial desires. Once this happens, it doesn’t take long before one will act in a more damaging manner for many sins are by nature actions that are abhorrent, distasteful, offensive, and fulsome.
רמב”ם, Maimonides, explains that when a witness is to testify on a case of punishment by death, the court revisits the idea that “every person is created with a unique countenance teaching, that one is obligated to say (and internalize) that the world was created for me.” Why? If all of creation is for me, then I am a being of importance; this heightened sense of self-respect will preclude one from lying, despite the fact that the witness was ready to testify falsely!
The same idea is formed in the גמרא סנהדרין כט:א; the Talmud states it would be ineffective to tell a false witness that terrible calamities would come to the world if they lie, for they will think, it won’t affect me personally. Rather, we tell them those who hired you to testify falsely, view you as a loathsome, abominable person, causing one to value their inherent dignity.
When the משכן, Tabernacle, was being constructed, the Torah states; ויבאו כל איש אשר נשאו לבו, all those whose “heart stirred” him came forward to help. The רמב”ן, Nachmanides explains, these were people who had no previous experience with art, jewelry, construction, but ויגבה לבו בדרכי ה, they with unmitigated, relentless enthusiasm desired to be part of the construction. When a person feels the inherent dignity to be part of a spiritual process and exclaims unequivocally, I will do whatever my “Master” says; they will be able to succeed in all their endeavors.
More than ever, to protect ourselves from the decadence and depravity of today’s world, we can for example every time we pray, recognize that our Father, Hashem, has lovingly gifted us the opportunities to speak with Him. What nobility! How important we are to Him! Everyone has a private audience with Him, daily!
