Author: Kollel of Greater Boston

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By Rabbi Naftoly Bier

אבינו יעקב, our patriarch Jacob, before his death, blessed his sons. To ראובן he said, “Reuven, you were to have superior positions, that of kingship and priesthood. But due to water-like impetuosity, you forfeited both of them.” Though Reuven had thought he was acting virtuously in justifying his mother’s honor and had subsequently sincerely repented, nevertheless a leader can not ever be impetuous.

This idea was the core teaching of the מקלם אלטר, the Kelm Yeshiva – not to have בהלה, impulsiveness, rather one must be deliberate at all times. HaRav Nosson Wachtfogel ל“זצ related that the first time he entered the Kelm Yeshiva for מעריב, when the חזן said a ברכה, he immediately  shouted  אמן! Whereupon, the whole yeshiva turned around, looked at him, and then after 1 or 2 seconds, all said Amen, in perfect harmony. The lesson, he said, relax, think, contemplate, and patiently react in unison.

The Medrash teaches, “וילך ראובן בימי קציר חטים”. (in מדרש רבה ע“ב:א) And Reuven went out in the time of the harvest (בראשית ס“ל:י“ד) and he found “dudaim”… This is to teach us the noble character of Reuven: he was so determined to only take something that he was positive it was ownerless, not to possess an item that there was the slightest chance of dishonesty.

The Medrash continues with the verse in Proverbs, משלי כ“ב:י , “ חנוך לנער על פי דרכו , Train a child according to his natural tendency, if so, even when he ages, it will not leave him.” Leah recognized that even in Reuven’s earliest, formative years that he possessed a relentless disposition to acute honesty and one mutrain him accordingly. Therefore, all his life, his actions would be predicated on this innate gift endowed by Hashem.

Continues the Medrash; at the end of the 40 years in the desert, the tribe of Reuven (and גד), beseeched משה רבינו, Moshe Rabeinu, “Please give us this land, that was conquered in the Eastern side of the Jordan River as our place of dwelling due to our abundance of cattle. They needed a place where they could be certain that their animals would not graze in another’s field. Due to the expansive amount of pasture that was on that side of the Jordan, their needs would be satisfied.

Though for forty years all of Klal Yisroel had been studying Torah and had anticipated to enter the land of Israel where the Divine Presence was at its peak; they accepted that their manner of “sanctifying Hashem’s name”, their responsibility to do so required them to choose this land. Reuven from his earliest years was creating the paradigm of integrity; this was his task, to be the tribe that would engender honesty throughout Klal Yisroel by example. (see מטות ‘פ ‘ב מאליהו מכתב)

Moshe Rabeinu didn’t argue with their conviction. Rather, he remonstrated them for not offering to join the rest of Klal Yisroel in the conquest of the land of Canaan and furthermore for mentioning their cattle before their families. It’s true that they were selflessly dedicating themselves to do Hashem’s will, but their approach was not perfect; it wasn’t deliberate enough and understanding the total scope of the situation. Despite their total spiritual, enthusiastic commitment to their designated role, they were still slightly impulsive.

What is the connection between Reuven having the hallmark of honesty and the unsatisfactory trait of impetuousity?

Impulsiveness is a reaction to a situation where one allows their emotions to dictate their behavior, essentially robbing one of the ability to intellectually view a situation from every angle and possibility. If Reuven was to be the leader of Klal Yisroel, being impulsive would disallow the correct evaluation of situations and preclude patient, deliberate decisions. This in effect is a direct contradiction to unequivocal integrity. He was therefore relieved of his eminent position by Yaakov Avinu. Yehuda, on the other hand, when challenged by Tamar to recognize that he was the one who impregnated her, immediately, intellectually understood that he absolutely must acknowledge it’s him. He was therefore chosen to be the monarch of Klal Yisroel.

This same idea applies to the halacha that if one drinks a certain measure of wine, one is disqualified from rendering a complex decision or to adjudicate a case. One is required to have intellectual acuity, coupled with thoughtful emotional sensitivity which is compromised by a slight amount of alcohol.

A pure intellectual process has to be balanced with emotional observation as we are taught that a judge who is childless cannot adjudicate a case of “capital punishment” due to his lack of acquired sensitivity, that is gained through child-raising.

In our daily lives our actions are often predicated on needs of desires, jealousy, and aggrandizement.  הקנאה, התאוה, והכבוד מוציאין אדם מן העולם . They can totally ruin a life of relentless accomplishment and true, steady intellectual focus. Yaakov Avinu taught us how extremely careful one must be to examine the true source of one’s thoughts and actions.

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By Rabbi Shloimie Lindenbaum

ויגש אליו יהודה (פרק מד פסוק יח)

After Yosef decides that he will take Binyomin captive because of the “stolen” goblet, Yehuda approaches him to plead their case. The Chiddushei Harim puts a spin on the words of the pasuk, that teaches a lesson applicable to all of us. He says that “Yehuda” (יהודה) really refers to all Jews- Yehudim (יהודים), who are called as such because of their tendency to admit (להודות) that everything is from Hashem. The word אליו, to him, in the pasuk really means to Hashem. If so, the pasuk is saying thatאליו  ויגש- he approached Him, יהודה, the Jewish people through their admittance that He is their benefactor. In other words, the ability to approach Hashem is through admitting that everything we have comes from Him. The Chiddushei Harim says that this is truly powerful advice for anyone in a difficult situation, the way to connect to Hashem and His blessings is by recognizing that He is the Source of everything.

ואת יהודה שלח לפניו…להורות לפניו גשנה (פרק מו פסוק כח)

Yaakov and his entire family travel down to Egypt to be supported by Yosef. The Torah tells us that Yaakov sent Yehuda ahead of the family to prepare for them. Rashi quotes the Medrash that this was to prepare a Yeshiva for them. This indicates the tremendous importance of establishing a place of Torah learning and enabling learning of Torah. R’ Yitzchok Zilberstein said a story of how he was once traveling to Bnei Brak and a gorgeous high-end car pulled up aside him to offer a ride. He took him up on the offer and, upon entering the car, realized that the driver was a terrible cripple with many physical handicaps. The car was a very expensive version, where the handicapped driver could still drive through buttons. The man did not seem especially learned, just a kind man doing him a favor. The next week he met the driver in the same situation again, but this time two of the man’s sons were already sitting in the back seat. He noticed that they were incredible תלמידי חכמים, יראי שמים, and בעלי מידות, truly impressive people. R’ Yitzchok wanted to get to bottom of the story, and he found out that the driver of the vehicle always had terrible handicaps and therefore was never able to learn in a Yeshiva setting. He decided that although he himself could not learn, he will assist others in their learning. He would drive around in his car and give rides to all Rabbis and Roshei Yeshiva so that they could go to the Yeshiva to teach Torah. He would then bring abundant food and drinks for all those learning in the Yeshiva. He was an amazing enabler of Torah study, and apparently his devotion to the Torah paid off in his sons’ exceptional character. So great is the importance of enabling Torah study.

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By Rabbi Naftoly Bier

In the beginning of the week’s parsha, we read of the epic battle waged by Yehuda to save Binyomin. Truthfully, the stakes couldn’t be higher; Yosef and Yehuda, two people worthy of sovereignty, are fighting for what they feel will affect the destiny of mankind.

Yosef’s plan was to bring the brothers to an awareness of their mistake in selling him, a manifestation of their lack of unequivocal love for one another. If successful, the Medrash says, “The world would have reached its apex- and Yosef would have been Moshiach.”

Yehuda, on the other hand, is aware that if Binyomin is left behind with Yosef, Yaakov Avinu would die due to the pain of losing two sons and subsequently the family would disintegrate and dissolve.

Two giants determined to “save the world”; who will be convinced by the other? The Medrash Rabbah 93:4 explains metaphorically in what manner Yehuda was able to convince Yosef to free Binyomin:

In ה :כ משלי, it states: ״מים עמוקים עצה בלב איש, ואיש תבונה ידלנו”  “The designs in a person’s mind are deep waters, but a person of understanding can draw them out.” This is a metaphor:

A village has discovered a new well, whose sparkling spring water has attracted the towns- people to try to fetch it. Each person valiantly tries with their rope and bucket to reach the water, but unfortunately no one is successful. A “wise person” then asks all the others to lend him their ropes, whereupon receiving them he ties them together and is able to gain water for all.

Why the use of the connotation “wise”? Wouldn’t it be more fitting to say “practical”? We are being taught a profound lesson in human behavior.

Every person is involved with their “rope and bucket”, many people deal with a situation even if it pertains to another, as if everyone reacts or should react the way they do. The wise person sees the expansiveness and totality of a situation; he or she is one who encompasses the large picture and acts accordingly- asking all for their ropes. A simple solution, but only one who is wise thinks of it.

Wisdom is defined by selflessness; the appreciation of the totality of all the dynamics involved.

This is the foundation of “Malchus”, Torah royalty- the ability to absorb another’s feelings, sensitivities, “intellectual bent”, and emotions, and subsequently being able to communicate with others “on their turf”, profoundly touching a chord of their emotional makeup.

This idea is demonstrated by the profound lesson of חז”ל regarding משה רבינו, Moses our leader. Rashi, in שמות ב:יא, Exodus 2:11, on the words  “וירא בסבלותם”, “ And he observed their burdens”, explains that Moshe “placed his eyes and his heart to grieve with them.” This constitutes two components, 1) he first intellectually absorbed their pain and suffering, and then 2) he placed himself emotionally in ‘their bodies’, as if he himself was actually suffering their plight.

This is what Yehuda was able to accomplish. In all relationships, being it marriage, siblings, or friends, it is imperative to “tie the ropes together”, to absorb the personality of another if we are to truly and honestly advise them, if we are to be successful in “merging” two different people into one cohesive unit of love and appreciation.

The usual, normative reaction to any obligation or situation is to judge another objectively, while for myself subjectively. They have to, I can’t! Success in life is the opposite; I must! Maybe they need empathy, encouragement, assistance, or they just have endured a difficult situation and need time to relax. This is true wisdom; absorbing another person or group in an expansive, thoughtful, penetrating and selfless manner.

Yehuda said to Yosef, “I have never met a person who empathetically inquires about another’s father and family as you have, my neighbor of twenty-two years hasn’t! I can’t imagine the pain and anguish you will have if my father dies due to Binyomin being held captive! He touched the inner soul of Yosef, and immediately Yosef relented and proclaimed, “I am Yosef”!

But in order to accomplish this it was imperative that Yehuda speak in a specific manner. In משלי, Proverbs, it states: “A gentle response alloys wrath, a harsh word provokes anger.” Though Yehuda was very upset and angry at Yosef for ridiculously accusing Binyomin of stealing his ‘cup of sorcery’ and for putting his father’s life in danger, nevertheless he spoke to him softly As  רבינו בחיי states: “Despite his anger, Yehuda was an extremely wise person, one who had the internal strength both intellectually and emotionally to stay calm in order to mollify, soothe the apparent anger of Yosef.

A lesson for all life situations; understand wisely how the other thinks and reacts! And always stay calm, with total control of oneself.

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By Rabbi Shloimie Lindenbaum

We say in על הניסים that the Greeks tried להשכיחם תורתיך, to make us forget the Torah. It sounds like they did more than just stop us from learning, but they tried to make us forget what we already had. How did they do this? R’ Yeruchem Olshin brings a Gemara that the Greeks tried specifically to prevent the Jews from bringing wood to the בית המקדש and from bringing ביכורים, the first fruits of the seven species. The Maharsha explains that these two mitzvos were performed with exceptional שמחה, joy and excitement, and therefore the Greeks targeted these mitzvos first. Their goal was to deprive us of the enthusiasm that we associated with serving Hashem and keeping His Torah and mitzvos. R’ Yeruchem continues with a Pasuk in תהלים, Psalms, בחוקותיך אשתעשע לא אשכח דבריך, “I play in Your laws, I will not forget Your word”. The אלשיך explains that the way that Dovid Hamelech ensured that the Torah would stay with him and not be forgotten, was by enjoying it and learning it with joy.  The more enjoyable something is, the more it will remain with you and the more it will be internalized by you. The Greeks, when targeting our שמחה in our Torah and mitzvos, were aiming for something much bigger than a nice addition in our עבודת ה’. They understood that if they can break our שמחה in our Torah and mitzvos, it will be something that will eventually be forgotten from us. In this way they tried “להשכיחם תורותיך”. We find this concept in our Parsha as well. Yosef, after becoming promoted to second-in-command in Egypt, named his first son מנשה, because “Hashem has made me forget (נשני) all my hardship and all my father’s household.” This is astonishing! Why would he be grateful that he forgot his father’s household? R’ Asher Druk explains that Yosef was clearly placed by Hashem into a new role in life, a role that he needed to apply all his faculties for. Had Yosef been constantly reminiscing and remembering his father’s house, he would have been totally overwhelmed and filled with depression. He is so distant from his childhood, surrounded by people of entirely different ideals! These feelings would overtake him and cause him to fail at his new job. To succeed in life in Egypt, Yosef had to, on some level, forget his father’s house, of course maintaining the ideals of his father, but all the while not letting the emotions overtake him. For this he thanked Hashem, for the ability to “move on” and focus on the task that was made his lot in life. Again, we see that for a person to succeed, they must have שמחה, they must do things with enthusiasm. R’ Yeruchem uses this to explain the Rambam who says that there is mitzvah of שמחה on Chanukah. Where does the Rambam get this from? Based on the above we can understand that because the Greeks targeted the שמחה of Torah and mitzvos to wrench it away from us, it is the perfect time to strengthen our שמחה, through which we will grow stronger and more intimately connected with our ‘עבודת ה.

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By Rabbi Naftoly Bier

In על הניסים the praise recited when lighting the menorah, we declare, “that the whole of Chanukah these lights are holy and we are not permitted to use them, but rather only to look upon them in order to thank You and praise Your great name for Your miracles…” the Talmud Shabbos 21a says, “the holiday was established for praise and thankfulness.”

What is praise and what is thankfulness?

There are two stages in being afflicted with a difficulty. There is the time of the struggle, and then the time when one is redeemed from it. While struggling, one may not see any benefit from it. If one struggled properly and did not succumb, then one has gained not only from the redemption but from the affliction itself. This is also true when God afflicts the Jewish people with oppressors and then intervenes miraculously to redeem them. They study their situation and realize that they should definitely praise God for the redemption. But also, they finally realize that they have gained even more from the affliction. For this they offer thanks, or more correctly, acknowledgement that all God had done was good. (Sfas Emes)

Dovid Hamelech in Psalms, chapter 94, comes to answer the age-old question, “Why does Hashem at times fail to check wrongdoing?”
In verse 12, he states (on the contrary), “Praiseworthy, for forward strides the גבר (person of strength) who you, Hashem trains by discipline (remonstrates) and from your Torah one is taught.”

Adversity is a gift. It is actually a means to discipline one to take true stock of oneself, thereby causing one to strengthen one’s moral fiber and to ennoble oneself. Only those who are capable of enduring pain, suffering, and adversity, those who are labeled גבר, a person of inner strength who has the moral energies to truly understand the purpose of adversity and to improve; will be visited with misfortune. At the same time, any suffering will be viewed as an admonition to delve more deeply into the Torah in order to derive the standard of what a life filled with duty and loyalty to G-d should be, and to measure his past existence against that standard. (see Rav S.R. Hirsch)
Adversity, hardship, distress and tribulations are in Hashem’s world an act of benefaction; it’s no different than a person who is physically ill and in order to regain their health undergoes a painful medical procedure. Precisely for this reason, the wicked are not always punished, for they will gain nothing, on the contrary, they inadvertently empower the righteous to make great strides!

How is it possible to actually view tragedy as anopportunity for edification? Life is an eternal struggle to submit to governance of Hashem, to transcend our physical, hedonistic, material, egotistical drives and strive for the true essence of who we are, our נשמה, soul?

On Chanukah, there was the miracle of the one small jug of oil that lit for eight days. Hashem was teaching us; My love for you is ceaseless, a small spark in you can light a huge flame. Everyone has a נשמה, soul, which is part and parcel of Hashem. It’s eternally there. It just needs to be “sparked”.

Shlomo Hamelech, Song of Songs 8:7, teaches, “Manywaters cannot quench love, neither can floods drown it…”

אהרון הכהן, Aaron the brother of Moses, was the greatest peacemaker. (Ethics of the Fathers 1:12) When Aaron met a quarreler he would say, “ I just met your partner and he, she is very sorry… and wants to be together.” When he met the other he would say the same. Naturally, when they would meet they would embrace one another with true forgiveness and love. (Avos D’Rav Nosson 12:3) Aaron saw that love can be lost, he took it and eternally locked it back into their hearts securely and eternally.
This is the same by Hashem and his people. The love is locked in the kernel of spirituality (נשמה) locked in every Jew. Nothing can disturb it. This was the lesson of the oil, a metaphor for this love, there is always a part of one’s heart that has not been defiled.

The Torah is the blueprint of the נשמה, soul. In the mother’s womb, a child is taught all of Torah, which is forgotten at birth, though embedded in the subconscious. What’s the point?! The Torah is the match that creates a fire, the flame of truth, spiritual greatness and emulation of Hashem.

When one is in misery, when one’s physical world is suffering, invariably the remaining spark of spirituality is awakened, for that is the only possible definition of life at that moment. The way to maintain and expand it is through Torah study, thereby opening the pathway to true growth. adversity create understanding. it develops empathy. It challenges one to investigate and create new goals.

It created a miracle. from the darkest times of Jewish history, when most of the Jewish nation Hellenized, came the outstanding development of Mishnah and Talmud. The experience gave us the ability in the darkest of times not to despair, but on the contrary to harness trials and tribulations as a conduit to acute clarity of one’s true life goals. The Jewish נשמה is eternal and immutable! It’s our precious gift!

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By Rabbi Shloimie Lindenbaum

אלה תולדות יעקב יוסף (פרק לז פסוק ב)

The Parsha introduces the story of Yosef and his brothers by stating “these are the chronicles (or offspring, see Rashi) of Yaakov, Yosef etc.” Simply, the Pasuk is saying that Yaakov’s life story was shaped through the following story regarding Yosef. The Chofetz Chaim, however, explains on a deeper level the Pasuk is telling us that to predict the future story of “Yaakov”- referring to the entirety of the Jewish People- one can look at the life of Yosef. Yosef was the most beloved son, and his brothers hated him for it. They did everything in their power to get rid of him until eventually he was sent to a foreign land with a bleak-looking future. He went through various tests and difficulties there, at every turn seeming as if he was doomed forever and nothing would ever become of him. Eventually, he rose to power, ironically through the very occurrences that seemed to be against him. Afterwards his brothers came, bowed to him, and finally admitted their wrongdoing. The Jewish Nation is very similar, being prized by Hashem and hated by the nations around them. They are sent away from their land to unfriendly nations who seem to be completely capable of wiping them out. Eventually, however, when they are saved and raised to their exalted heights, they will recognize that all the hardships they faced in גלות made them better and stronger. It was through those difficulties that they became great and rose to be princes of the world. Then all the nations will come and admit to the injustice that they perpetrated, and truth will reign.

בעוד שלשת ימים ישא פרעה את ראשך מעליך (פרק מ פסוק יט)

The Parsha ends off with Yosef correctly interpreting the dreams of the שר המשקים ושר האופים. He tells the שר האופים that his dream of carrying three baskets on his head and the birds eating the bread from on top, is a prediction of how in three days he will be killed by Pharoah. Where did Yosef see in his dream that he will be killed? R’ Meir Shapiro answered with a story. There was once a very talented artist who came to the town square to sell his paintings. One of the paintings depicted a man carrying fruit. Soon after he displayed the painting publicly people noticed that there were living birds attempting to eat the fruit from the painting. Apparently, his art was so realistic that even the birds thought the fruit was real! A wise man saw what was going on and pointed out that while it was impressive, it wasn’t truly realistic. If the birds thought that the whole painting was real, then they would be scared to approach the man in the painting. R’ Shapiro explained that in the dream as well, the fact that the birds were willing to eat from a basket atop a man’s head, showed Yosef that the man is not among the living and therefore the birds aren’t scared of him. That’s where he saw in the dream that the שר האופים will be killed.

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By Rabbi Naftoly Bier

In this week’s פרשה, we are introduced to actions which demonstrate the lofty heights one can attain regarding their protection of the innate nobility of all human beings.

The wife of Potiphar had persisted in asking יוסף הצדיק, Joseph to lie with her. Despite his adamant refusal, one day she “grabbed his garment, desiring to seduce him.” (Ch. 39:12) “Yosef left his garment in her hand and fled.”

The Ramban, Nachmanides, explains that in deference to his mistress (his master’s wife) he did not want to overpower her and grab back the garment thereby diminishing her dignity. At first it seems inconceivable; why show reverence to a person who has treated you with a total lack of respect? Yes, she provides you with your needs; food, shelter, etc. but Yosef understood that his action can bring about a negative impact, as it did.

Another incident is the story of Yehuda and Tamar. Unknowing to Yehuda; he has impregnated his former daughter-in-law. When told of her pregnancy, he ruled that she should be “burned to death”, due to his lofty royal status. (Ramban) Tamar, rather than confronting Yehuda, left it up to him to understand that he was the one who was responsible for her pregnancy. If he didn’t admit it, she and her twins that were in her womb would have suffered an ignoble, disgraceful death. The  גמרה סוטה י●says from here we deduce, “it is better that one should let oneself be thrown into a fiery furnace rather than expose another to public shame.”

Again, it seems incredulous! Firstly, why should Tamar worry about another’s embarrassment if that person, Yehuda, is going to embarrass her?! Secondly, we are taught the דין של רודף, if one is determined to kill another; everyone has the right to kill the murderer to be. Thirdly, there is a discussion, if this idea is obligatory or not. If it isn’t, then surely it’s impossible for Tamar to let her and her twins to be executed.

The answer could be inferred from the usage of words, “it is better to forfeit one’s life…” it’s not an obligation but rather an action that surpasses any other reaction.

The underlying, fundamental principle that determines all successful development of one’s being is the formation of pristine character. It therefore is incumbent on one to protect one’s inner being, one’s dignity and nobility at all times with unmitigated, sincere integrity.

For example, in this week’s פרשה we learn of the contentious relationship that Yosef had with his brothers.

They felt that their individuality was compromised by Yosef due to his  mesmerizing,  all-encompassing personality. But maybe their feelings were predicated on jealousy? מדות, one’s character is subject to all kinds of emotional influence and consequently one loses clarity and an objective outlook.

Every action one does has an impact on a person. Even if one is involved with a mitzvah, it could have a detrimental impact. For example, the Torah implores us that if a town, city has veered away from Hashem and is serving idols (עיר הנדחת), the town must be destroyed and its inhabitants put to death. The Torah says, (Deuteronomy 13:18) “… and Hashem will give you mercy and be merciful to you…” Destroying the city can create a callous attitude towards suffering and erode the natural feelings of mercy the people had until now. For every action impacts on one’s inner sense of nobility and the consequence can be horribly negative, despite the mitzvah. Therefore, Hashem promises, that He will infuse them with a new feeling of sensitivity and compassion, even more than ever! (אור החיים)

The same idea is taught inפ’ כי תצא , Deuteronomy 21:10-11. The soldiers that went to war on behalf of Klal Yisroel were the most pious and righteous. Nevertheless, the Torah allows the Tzaddik to cohabitate with a beautiful non-Jewish woman one time. (See Tosafos קידושין כ”ב; Ramban ibid) Why? In the time of battle, when one is occupied with self-survival and the need to kill the enemy, one invariably loses their inherent dignity; therefore, the Torah with its understanding of human nature allows this exception.

Yosef, despite the fact that his mistress had despicably mistreated and harassed him, did not want to surrender or relinquish his developed sense of inner majestic nobility, for then his future would be impaired and diminished. For every action, impacts on one’s inner character, the basis of all success in life’s endeavors.

So too, Tamar, due to attaining a superior, lofty character, felt that if  she  allows Yehuda  to  be embarrassed, the negative impact on her future would be devastating; thereby creating a metamorphosis where she would lose her true magnificent, noble identity for the remainder of her life.

Though this seems very difficult for us to comprehend, the overriding lesson we are taught is the constant need to be vigilant in protecting our nobility for it is the irrefutable foundation for all of true spiritual success.

The consequence of not protecting the fundamental gravity of one’s dignity is that we are taught (מסכת שבת ק:ד), that a תלמיד חכם whose clothing is soiled will suffer severe consequences. The משך חכמה (ויקרא ט”ו:י”ב) explains that a תלמיד חכם who denigrates his dignity causes a diminishment of the value of Torah scholars in the eyes of the populace. This in turn is a חילול ה’, which carries great consequences. Rav Avrohom Yitzchok Bloch זצ”ל הי”ד, taught every action must be deliberated for otherwise one will invariably cause others to distance themselves from a Torah oriented life. The Steipler quotes the Chazon Ish, that this principle applies to any person who studies Torah. Yes, self-nobility is paramount in עבודת ה’!

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By Rabbi Shloimie Lindenbaum

קטנתי מכל החסדים ומכל האמת (פרק לב פסוק יא)

When Yaakov hears that Eisav is coming to kill him, he turns to Hashem in fervent prayer. He says “I have become small from all of the kindnesses and truth that You have done for [me]”. Rashi explains that that Yaakov was concerned that he had lost all merits of his good deeds because Hashed had done so much for him, and therefore he was afraid of his sins causing him to be given over to Eisav. Why were Hashem’s kindnesses a reason to be afraid of his sins? R’ Elya Baruch Finkel explains that when a person clearly sees that Hashem takes care of them and protects them, it demands a higher service of Him. The more a person becomes indebted to Hashem by recognizing His goodness, the more he must respond with greater adherence to the Torah. This was Yaakov’s intention, although his sins were not so severe, perhaps because of all the special protection that Hashem had given him, he would be punished for even slight errors. His appreciation for Hashem’s kindnesses made him realize how much he owes his Creator.

ותמת רחל ותקבר בדרך אפרתה (פרק לה פסוק יט)

Rochel died while giving birth to Binyomin, and Yaakov buried her on the road, not bringing her to חברון where the rest of the אמהות were buried. Chazal tell us that the reason for this decision was that Yaakov foresaw his children going into exile and having nowhere to turn. At that point they would pass by the קבר of Rochel, and they would have the opportunity to daven. Rochel would go and beseech Hashem to have mercy on her children and her prayer would be especially potent. The פסוקים in ירמיה describe how Rochel refuses to be consoled if her children are in exile. R’ Avraham Pam points out that the wording of the פסוק is “מאנה להנחם כי איננו”, “she refuses to be comforted for he is not here [in Israel]”. Although she is crying about all her children, she refuses to be consoled if even one member of כלל ישראל (איננו is in singular form) is missing. We must always remember that every individual is important and Hashem cares about each and every one of us, always longing for the day that all of us will be reunited in ארץ ישראל.

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By Rabbi Naftoly Bier

In Genesis chapter 34:1, it states, “ ”…ותצא דינה בת לאה “And Dinah the daughter of Leah went out to look among the daughters of the land.” She was subsequently defiled by Shechem.
Though she was truly righteous, the spirit of her father Yaakov Avinu internalized in her being, she made a slight mistake by leaving the confines of her family. This was a violation of her inherent trait of צניעות, Tznius, that is inherently part and parcel of every female.
What does צניעות mean? It’s been translated as modesty, humility, nobility, discretion, privacy… Let us examine passages in תנ“ך and the Talmud.
In Michah 6:8, it states: “והצנע לכת עם אלוקיך”, and one should walk with צניעות with Hashem.” The Talmud Tractate Makkos 24a, explains that this refers to the mitzvah of escorting a deceased to their burial and to be involved with the marriage of a bride. “If the prophet admonishes us to ask act with צניעות regarding public affairs, surely for mitzvos done in private.” This passage refers to two circumstances; one, that if one enables someone to be married with financial help, it should be done discreetly. Two, that if one rejoices at a wedding it should be done without frivolity. The common theme is the grave responsibility to preserve one’s dignity and nobility. The true source of one’s human greatness is the fact that one is created by Hashem and by internalizing this fact one will truly act in a manner that will be in accordance with the gift of being a צלם אלוקים, a person created to emulate Hashem.
צניעות is the dynamic of protecting one’s inner nobility. Yes, dress, act, speak and think accordingly!
When חוה was created by Hashem, on every bone that was created, He declared you should be a צנועה (מדרש רבה). Effectively, the female was entrusted to be the one who safeguards, protects and inculcates the human race with the true essential dignity that is part and parcel of all of us.
שלמה המלך , King Solomon, teaches “תורת חסד על לשונה”, the teaching of kindness is on her tongue.” True dignity is when one recognizes that one possesses G-d-given dignity, one logically emulates Him in the most pronounced way; by being a giver. This is the meaning of the blessing שעשני כרצונו , I was made by Him like His will. His will is to give, Hashem bequeathed me with the same essence! What validation!
The גמרא מגילה יג: relates that the family of רחל, Rachel are exemplars of the trait of צניעות. In order that
her sister לאה, Leah should not be so embarrassed by their father לבן, Lavan, she taught her the codes, passwords that she and יעקב אבינו had developed, thereby saving her from ignobility. צניעות: protecting another’s dignity.
A descendant of Rachel, Shaul (HaMelech), when anointed to be king by שמואל הנביא , Shmuel the Prophet, didn’t even inform his own father. צניעות: protecting one’s dignity by not drawing attention to oneself.
Another descendant, אסתר המלכה, Queen Esther, when badgered by the king (אחשוורוש) to divulge her identity, pleaded “amnesia” – צניעות: to protect oneself – not to reveal oneself.
The common theme by all three, was the ability to restrain and suppress the normal reaction of the need to speak, to be heard by others and compare oneself to others. צניעות: control and dominance of one’s normal reactions, thereby maintaining the vision of one’s goals and aspirations and also enabling others to achieve the same.
רחל, Rachel, is the paragon. After waiting seven years to be married to Yaakov Avinu, she relinquished her dream in order that her sister shouldn’t be disgraced, shamed and ridiculed. This is the epitome of reverence of another’s nobility.
There are three mitzvos associated uniquely with women, נדה, חלה, and הדלקת הנר. When one fashions dough to make bread, the staple food – one has to give a portion to the כהן. The lesson: remember it is I, Hashem, who has benefited you with all – including bread, for all blessing is from me.
Shabbos is a time of transcendence from the mundane, from defining oneself by one’s creativity, thereby connecting once again, with one’s נשמה, soul – our inner identity. It’s heralded with the candle lighting by the woman.
טהרה – is the dynamic as explained by the Ramchal, as the ability to selflessly act solely to follow the dictates of Hashem and not to draw attention at all to oneself. נדה – to transcend the focus on the physical monthly change to creating a selfless loving bond with one’s spouse.
All these three are ramifications of protecting one’s nobility, that being that I am a subject of Hashem and therefore all one’s actions are defined by that ennobling relationship. They are entrusted to the woman, for she is the true embodiment and educator of צניעות, nobility.

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By Rabbi Shloimie Lindenbaum

ויצא יעקב מבאר שבע וילך חרנה (פרק כח פסוק י)

Our Parsha continues the story that began last week by telling us that Yaakov left באר שבע and went to חרן. The בית הלוי asks, why must we say where he left from? Usually when describing a person traveling, the Torah just tells us where they were heading? He answers that usually the significance of a trip is the destination, but in this instance, Yaakov had two reasons for traveling. His mother, Rivkah, had told him to leave to escape the wrath of Eisav, and his father, Yitzchak, had told him to go to the house of Lavan to find a wife. Therefore, the Torah tells us about his departure and his intended destination because they were both significant reasons for his trip. The בית הלוי continues by quoting a מדרש that Yaakov’s running to Lavan’s house was symbolic of our leaving ארץ ישראל to go into גלות, exile. He explains that in our גלות as well there are two purposes. Firstly, we had to leave ארץ ישראל. It is a holy place, a place that is not inhabitable by those who sin. If we would continue living there without properly serving Hashem, the repercussions would be a lot worse, because a holy land is much more sensitive to sin. Secondly, we needed to go live amongst the nations of the world and in that setting, Hashem would send us constant reminders to repent and come close to Him. When we are afflicted in גלות it is with the mindful purpose of purifying us and correcting our behavior. In that way our exile resembles that of Yaakov, we too have a dual purpose in גלות, to not contaminate the קדושה of the Land, and to purify and elevate ourselves.

וילך ראובן בימי קציר וימצא דודאים (פרק ל פסוק יד)

Reuven went during the days of harvest and brought dudaim, a type of herb, to his mother. The Gemara tells us that the Torah says that it was during harvest season to praise Reuven that although there was plenty of harvest, he did not steal, rather he only took cheap herbs that were ownerless. The Tolna Rebbe asks, what is the big deal? Of course he didn’t steal other people’s money? He answers that according to the סדר עולם Reuven at the time of this story was three years old. He wasn’t necessarily able to make his own decision at the time of what was right or wrong, rather what he did was because of his training at home. The only reason he didn’t steal would be because in his parents house it was such as basic and fundamental concept to not take other people’s money, that even as a young child he would not think of stealing. This is the praise of the Torah. (As heard from R’ Yehoshua Krasnow)